Being Polite vs. Harsh with ChatGPT

Hello ChatGPT

Dear ChatGPT you are a darling

Thank you ChatGPT

Can you Please

Is there really a difference between typing “Write this now” and “Could you please help me write this?” when speaking to ChatGPT?

Well, technically, no. But emotionally, absolutely yes. One wonders - Polite Talk vs. Harsh Talk with ChatGPT. What Your Prompts Say About You

You must have heard in recent days, social media has been buzzing with experiments around the tone used when prompting AI — specifically, ChatGPT. Some users are discovering that when they use polite or courteous language, the response often comes across as warmer, more elaborate, and more engaging. When using harsh commands, the answers, though still accurate, feel mechanical or colder.

This leads us to a deeper question: is the AI really responding differently, or are we projecting emotional meaning onto neutral text?

Here’s the fascinating part — ChatGPT is trained using Reinforcement Learning from Human Feedback (RLHF). This means it learns to mirror the tone and structure of human interaction. If you come in respectful, it’s designed to respond in kind. But it doesn’t "feel" anything. You do.

So, why does being polite matter?

It matters because you’re not just talking to AI—you’re also training yourself. Every interaction is a rehearsal. If you get used to saying “please,” “thank you,” or formulating thoughtful, respectful instructions—even to a machine—it slowly rewires how you approach all conversations. You may become more patient, more intentional, and perhaps even more empathetic in real-life communication.

There’s also the subtle emotional effect. Typing kindly feels better. It puts you in a more mindful state. A polite prompt slows you down just enough to think more clearly. That pause, that moment of awareness, can be the difference between a reactive mind and a responsive one.

Conversely, harsh prompts may reflect stress, fatigue, or even power dynamics learned elsewhere. “Do this. Now.” feels efficient but transactional. Over time, that behaviour can reinforce command-and-control habits that bleed into how we speak to coworkers, family, or even ourselves.

So, what if we saw prompting not just as a technical act, but as a communication ritual?

What if your daily prompts became a mirror, showing how you show up in the world?

We often hear that AI will shape the future of human interaction. But maybe the reverse is also true: how we interact with AI might shape how we interact with each other. 

It’s no longer just about optimising prompts for better results — it’s about optimising tone for better presence.

In a world of increasing machine mediation, perhaps it’s worth remembering one thing:

Your words matter. Even to a machine.

Because they always matter to you.